Let’s Talk About Death…

No day is ordinary A new sunrise; each day’s rays cast a unique pattern over the lake An eager spider; weaves another web strand on her death trap A shift in the wind; now golden and red maple leaves carpet…

Category : Uncategorized
Tags :

August 26, 1972: “Our Day”

My mind continues to be consumed with the last few weeks of Roy’s life, his sick body lying there on the hospital bed in the living room. His last two breaths and then forever gone. Every now and then old…

Category : Uncategorized
Tags :

STUG Attacks!

“I am not really dead, Deb!”   Roy is speaking to me as he lies on the sofa. I recognize his hairy belly and chest; the rest of his body is not visible, missing as a matter of fact. “What am…

Category : Uncategorized
Tags :

Three Months: A letter

Dear Roy, How many times have I started a letter or email like this over the past 43 years? Today marks the three-month anniversary of your death. It feels like yesterday in so many ways as I have not come…

Category : Uncategorized
Tags :

July 5

The veil of thick fog that rolled in during Roy’s cancer battle dissipates enough at times for me to occasionally have a 360-degree glimpse of life. Our home office once fairly neat and organized held the bits and pieces of…

Category : Uncategorized
Tags :

Father’s Day

The first Father’s Day without the father of my children is two days behind. As I celebrated with my own father, in his late 80’s, my feelings were mixed; I am grateful that my father is still with us, but…

Category : Uncategorized
Tags :

Down Up Down

I haven’t posted much in the last couple of weeks since the one-month anniversary of Roy’s death. The days are filled with emotions that are up and down. I do not even think “up” accurately describes the not so down…

Category : Uncategorized
Tags :

One Month

Today, May 17, 2014, marks the one-month anniversary of Roy’s death and the two-month anniversary of his diagnosis. Time is warped; a month feels like years, and a moment lasts forever; my grief has no words. I continue to experience…

Category : Uncategorized
Tags :

Fog, Ashes, and Forms, Oh My!

The three-week anniversary of Roy’s death is approaching. The Memorial Service was Sunday people came and went. I am left with a house full of flowers, cards, and left over programs, from the service, reminders everywhere of his beginning and…

Category : Uncategorized
Tags :

Day Nine

One week and two days as a widow.  The days go by slower now. Easter came and went. We were both raised in the Christian tradition and grew up celebrating Easter as a major holiday. As adults we hung on…

Category : Uncategorized
Tags :